As I’m standing backstage at the Brisbane Convention Centre I hear the MC calling everyone's attention as he prepares to introduce me as the final speaker for the day. The MC who I’ve never met has my introduction in his notes, an introduction that creates my comfort zone and allows me to come out onto stage from a position of confidence, something one perceives to ‘need’ in order to speak in front of an audience of 700 people. As the crowd quiets, the MC decides not to read my introduction; he wants to keep things brief, and simply says “our speaker Cam, is from New Zealand”. As the spotlight followed me onto stage the heckling from the crowd of Australians began.

Sure, it was light hearted in the expected ‘Aussie vs Kiwi’ way but this was new to me and if I wasn't already a bit nervous it’s fair to say my vulnerability shot through the roof.

Vulnerability is a discomfort, an awkwardness and something we wish to avoid but it can also motivate the greatest win.

The next few minutes on stage were pretty uncomfortable as the knees shook and my voice trembled hoping that soon flow and momentum would kick-in, that I could get them comfortable with why I was there.

While I was feeling uncomfortable and weak it was actually building a deeper demonstration resilience, realness and ultimately it was building rapport; it was as if we had reached the calm eye of the tornado and we were in there TOGETHER.

Vulnerability creates two options: ‘fight or flight’ or as I prefer to reference, ‘win or lose’. Winning is anything that exceeds expectation, losing is anything less than expectation and average is never a consideration.

I hate losing. I hate losing so much that part of my preparation before I step onto any stage is knowing what the things are that would allow vulnerability to beat me. As a speaker, in fact as anyone who tries something new and therefore open to critique vulnerability is a certainty. To win I need to know my environment, audience and content, and remember that the most important thing of all is to enjoy the experience, for communication is so much more than what we say. It’s how we feel and, in turn, make others feel.

Because I knew what I needed to know, I could fight, I could win, I could build on my confidence as the talk progressed, which enabled the audience to experience an unscripted transformation from “what the…, it’s a Kiwi, lets heckle this guy", to... the strongest level of connection and a standing ovation to end.

Stepping outside our comfort zone can make us feel vulnerable and ignites a fear within but often vulnerability is the precursor to achieving something awesome.

So as we go into meetings, exams and each new situation, let’s be sure we know everything we should know (study and prepare), that we aim to create as much joy as we can, and trust that the unknown, the thing that potentially makes us feel vulnerable, could set us up for the the biggest win.