When tasked with writing something about my experiences of being the mum of a toddler, it was hard to not get personal with the information I included. Everything about motherhood is immensely personal and such a different journey for every person and baby.
Outdoors: We have a border collie, so the current go-to outing for me, my husband and our daughter is adventuring to a beach or park somewhere on the North Shore and exploring together. Getting all three of us out in nature for at least an hour does wonders! We can find the coolest rocks and pile them into our pockets, splash in the rock pools and sand puddles, skip around the beach and practice our running and jumping skills, as well as throwing the ball for our doggie and watching her swim. The extra bonus is that it is all free! (Unless we reward ourselves with a coffee, fluffy and scone.)
Being Silly: As well as watching my little girl grow taller, smarter, faster, funnier and more dramatic every day, for me, the best part of becoming a mother is being able to find my ‘silly’ again. When you are a parent, anything goes. I can run around and act like a child with her, dance with her, find simple games/tasks to complete, sing in silly voices for her and it provides so much entertainment (and expresses my inner child and imagination again). Seeing everything from her perspective can be so fun!
Grandparents: They are a special treasure. Having a child is an amazing thing in itself but, in our personal experience, seeing our parents become grandparents is the absolute best. They too find their inner child and develop this special love and bond with their granddaughter, like a secret language. The endless energy, fun and patience they somehow muster up at their age is pretty awesome. It is a privilege to watch. My husband and I are also lucky enough to still have some of our grandparents around, and to see them light up when they see their great granddaughter, is another level of special!
Confronting: Being a parent really shines a light on all aspects of your own personality, even parts I didn’t know much about. I was confronted with how much of a ‘fixer’ I am and the perfectionism that comes with that. It took me a while (and a lot of advice and support from my husband, friends and family) to realise I didn’t need to find a solution for every growth phase my baby went through. She was simply ‘being a baby’.
I have also learned that I LOVE routine. So, to not have any sort of routine in the early days really disrupted my personal rhythm. I have since learned it is not about me anymore and, once I leaned into following her lead and meeting her particular needs, I started to feel a sense of comfort as a parent. Having a set weekly routine of outings and catch ups was key for me.
Also, having a great community of trusted people and professionals to reach out to for advice really helped. It truly does take a village, and once you’ve found your village, it is life changing as a parent. I do still trawl through Facebook groups to find out if our current phase is ‘normal’, but I think that is something I will forever be doing for peace of mind, haha!
Friends and support: I found the newborn stage quite hard. My saving grace in the early days of babyhood (and something I am still very thankful for), is the support system of my 'mum' friends (my angels) as well as my awesome husband. My husband and I are lucky to have a friend group with babies of similar ages, and to be able to call on them for advice was incredible.
Something about surrounding yourself with likeminded people in the same or similar situation, makes you feel so sane on the hard days. Getting out for a coffee and walk, visiting their homes for a change of scenery or simply just being in their presence on a hard day to laugh about it, was truly the best. For me, being a first-time mother really stripped everything back to basics and taught me to enjoy the simplest things in life.
Reflecting on what I would do differently: It’s hard to decide on what I would do differently if my husband and I were to have a second child (or just for the sake of being critical of myself), but I would definitely lean on my support system more to have time to myself and try to go with the flow. As well as not putting pressure on myself that as a mother on maternity leave, it was my job and only my job to do everything for my baby. I now know that everything is a 'phase' with newborns growing into babies then into toddlers, and time does go by way too fast. I am so proud of the little person my daughter is becoming, she makes my heart sing everyday! Like one of my colleagues recently said, you very quickly find your new normal and it all becomes second nature.
Memories: I am thankful for the ten million photos I have of our journey together so far. It really illustrates how fast time does go by. My mission while on maternity leave was to be strict on filling out her baby book with information and photos. I also made sure to religiously print out photos and create albums (like my mum has of me growing up) as it is such a nostalgic journey looking back on how far we have come as a family and how much she has grown in such a short time. I’m hoping to keep this up so I have something tangible to treasure and look through when I want to reminisce (and show her when she’s older).
