Since I was a child, I've started each new year reflecting and releasing, contemplating memories, situations, interactions and life in general. I pinpoint what I was grateful for, what I want to change, and new things I want to implement.
My lesson from last year is that I won't ever be ready for what life throws at me, never adequately prepared, as I hoped I would be as an adult. But I've stopped saying yes to everything, and to not feel bad about it, and to be proud of myself. I was excessively critical of myself, and was a bully to myself - no more! These may be little milestones, but milestones nonetheless. Now, I'm grateful for simply being alive and proud of how far I've come - this is from someone who just didn't want to wake up each morning. I've evolved into someone who finds happiness in life, whether it's a beautiful flower, a sweet old couple at the beach, or a refreshing iced coffee. Not all 365 days of 2023 were simple, but some were fantastic. Most kids underestimate high school and I was one of them. Early on, I was ahead in school, studied hard, and had outstanding marks. I enjoyed learning and studying, and was rewarded with As on my report cards. I assumed I would thrive at high school - why wouldn't I? 2023 was my final year of high school and having reflected on one of my most challenging but eye-opening years, I'm making adjustments so I can become the adult I always aspired to be.
Now I'm 18, I've learned to be fearless. In order to ascend and learn, I need to fall, make mistakes and evolve. I learned that no one can love me more than I can, and you can't rely on people for validation if you don't love yourself. So put yourself first and prioritise your needs; get up early for a run to relieve stress, read a book for an hour instead of checking your phones first thing, make new friends and surround yourself with people who make you feel good and have a positive attitude. High school taught me that individuals don't change with age. I think about people who are no longer in my life, both good and bad, and recognise that I am who I am now as a result.
I've decided to accept that I'm not flawless. I found it tough not to compare myself to others but I knew nothing about their lives; that's the power of social media. People choose to showcase only wonderful things, the amazing experiences they are having - it's so easy to feel jealous. I now strive to celebrate everyone's achievements, whilst also focusing on my own. I've learned that everyone is at a different stage of life, so why feel jealous of something I don't have or want? I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and it makes us stronger and wiser.
My advice to our younger readers is simple: surround yourself with people who make you happy. Friendships can be a difficult component of high school. I've had many experiences where my first impression of someone was fantastic. I got to know them and spent time together, but as we grew closer, their demeanour changed, and they became someone I didn't want to connect with. Conflicts and differences can reveal loyalty within friendships, and it hurts most when you seem to care more than they do. I've chosen to respect true friendships, discovering that kind individuals aren't born that way. They've been through a lot in life but turn setbacks into learning opportunities. True friends are there for you in both good and terrible times, giving you advice even if you don't listen half the time! Friends are platonic soulmates who you laugh with so hard your stomach hurts, who believe in you, and never deny your self-worth. They are individuals who love you just for who you are, regardless of your positive or negative experiences. When you find someone like that, keep them and cherish them for a lifetime.
Here are some lessons I've learned that I'd love to pass on:
I wish you all a wonderful year ahead. Always be the greatest you can be and be kind, even when you're weary - you never know how other people are feeling. Be understanding even when you're upset. Genuinely listen when someone speaks and don't worry about how you respond. Tell people you love and appreciate them. One thing you should never do is try to prove to anyone that you're good enough; your actions will speak for themselves, and we only have so much time on this planet so don't waste it. Don't worry if no one sees your light. Good people, like moths, are drawn to flame and light, and will flock there.
Channel Mag's youth contributors, Fantasia Nair and Ellie Brown bring a fresh monthly feature to our pages to inspire and advise our younger North Shore readers. If there are any topics you'd like to read about, contact Liz at liz@channelmag.co.nz and our fledgling writers will research and write engaging articles specifically for our younger (at heart) readers.
