Musings on a journey: From girlhood to womanhood 

As I transition from girl to woman, here are my reflections on the journey so far...

When I was a little girl, I was surrounded by innocence. I dreamed of being a woman, living in an apartment in New York with brick walls and a balcony, drinking red wine with my friends while doing our makeup on the floor, and buying flattering, pretty dresses and heels like my mum. All I wanted was to be this grown woman with total freedom and a stress-free life. As girls, it always seemed that adults were so free, but now we're adults ourselves we realise, it is in fact the children who are free. 

I have become a fledgling woman, only to discover I want to be a child again! The transition from girl to woman is like no other. My advice? Embrace the process! The thing to remember is this: We’re always going to have that little girl within us, no matter how old, how wise, or how big we get. For most, growing up is exciting; for some it's nerve-racking, watching our rooms, clothing preferences and bodies change over the years. Perhaps there is no real preparation beyond puberty – you just grow up and learn to change.

Girlhood was being in primary school, carefree and so present in life. Our only focus was to have fun; making daisy chains with our friends while gossiping about the boys, coming home and begging our mums to arrange play-dates with our friends, and hating homework, when in reality it was easy spelling tests and fun arts and crafts. I often find myself reminiscing about the simplicity of life back then; our biggest concerns were whether to be a fairy, princess, or mermaid! The ability to dream without limitations, and believe in the impossible was truly magical. I miss that childlike wonder and the excitement of seeing the world through the lens of endless possibilities. The innocence of being a girl is something I cherish. Back then, I viewed the world with curiosity and openness. I approached experiences and people without preconceived notions or judgments. I miss that innocence, where everything was new and exciting, and every day held the promise of discovery. 

Then comes the transition to teenager-hood and getting to know the changes in our body, mood and priorities. We realise we are no longer flat-chested, our skin isn't as clear as it used to be, and we are unsure how to navigate new emotions rushing through our bodies. We have to see-saw between two opposite possibilities; tomboy or 'girly' girl - you’re either playing sports or learning how to do makeup; there seems to be no space in between. Teenager-hood is being 13 and having an eye for fashion but also being a fast runner, while fitting yourself into one of two socially 'palatable' boxes. In reality, you don't fit in either. It's waking up with a bulging pimple on your forehead and getting your period, making you believe this is the real transition into womanhood. Teenager-hood is fighting with your mum about how she doesn’t understand what you're going through when in truth, she understands only too well.

Late teens is about being 17 and accepting the changes to your body, and discovering who you are and what you stand for. It’s about navigating through friendships you thought would last forever, and then moving on and finding new ones. You realise that not everyone is meant to be your friend and you learn to value the genuine friendships you do have. You start to handle your emotions; learning to manage these emotions is a big part of growing up. Sometimes it feels overwhelming, but it's also empowering to understand and express how you feel. Contrary to this, you feel life is 'rigged', there is no winning, and you are always ‘too’ something or other; too loud or too quiet, too ambitious or too lazy, too skinny or too fat, too tall or too short. We learn it doesn't actually matter all that much.

Moving into adulthood ourselves is realising that our mothers are navigating through life as well, and the world doesn’t revolve around us. We begin to sympathise with the tough moments they have been through and feel guilty for the times we were difficult. You realise how much your mother has sheltered you from the harsh realities of the world, just to protect you. Now you feel like you are entering womanhood and glimpse the realities of both the joy and the stress life comes with. You begin to question - do I want to be a woman anymore? 

Womanhood is having memories of yourself as a little girl and forever holding her to your heart. Enjoying every minute of life because you wished you had when you were younger. It’s having an emergency period kit in your purse, or stumbling into a bathroom on a night out and helping a random sister with her mascara. Womanhood is many things, and a lot of it is accepting the little girl you were and loving her unconditionally. We all go through difficult times, whether it's mental health, losing friends you thought would last, or a breakup, but the best thing we can do is love ourselves. As my mum says, you won’t be able to love others if you're not capable of loving yourself first. 

Channel Mag's youth contributors, Fantasia Nair and Ellie Brown bring a fresh monthly feature to our pages to inspire and advise our younger North Shore readers. If there are any topics you'd like to read about, contact Liz at liz@channelmag.co.nz and our fledgling writers will research and write engaging articles specifically for our younger (at heart) readers.


Issue 156 September 2024