If you ask anyone who has a visible disability about situations where people have interacted with them in ways that were inappropriate, insensitive or even outright offensive, most would be able to give you a few scenarios. And while some people are purposefully communicating in inappropriate ways, it seems that the majority are not intentionally acting in such a manner and purely don’t know what to do or what to say.

Some people are so worried about their words that they overthink what they say, which ends up coming across in the opposite way they intended. Try not to focus so much on the wording of what is being said. For instance, saying things such as “it’s nice to see you” or “let’s go for a walk” are such common phrases that it’s not usually an issue. Most people with disabilities will let you know if this is something they don’t like. The same is true with people who speak more loudly or slowly when communicating with someone who has a disability. Just speak to the individual as you would anyone else, they will let you know if they need you to speak up or slow down.

Another common situation people with disabilities find themselves in is where instead of being spoken to directly, the person they are with gets asked the questions. “What kind of drink would she like with that?” “Where does he want to sit?” are examples of questions that should be said straight to the person it is about rather than assuming that the individual cannot answer for themselves. Even if the person does need assistance with communicating or has someone translating for them due to a hearing impairment, still ensure that you are speaking directly to the individual rather than those around them.

Ultimately, just have a conversation the same way you would with anyone else and try not to worry too much about coming across the wrong way. Each individual is different so just go with the flow!

www.yesdisability.org.nz