From as early as she can remember, North Shore resident and now Shore-based holistic health coach Jacqui Penny had a person constantly berating her. They bullied her, telling her she wasn’t good enough, that she could never do anything right, that she didn’t measure up. She tells Channel Magazine how she overcame that bully…

“I know what you’re thinking, it’s easy, right? Just stand up to the bully and stop listening to that negative cruel person. However, that negative cruel person was me. And my own critical self-talk fueled my insecurities and left me an anxious shell of a human being.

“For much of my life I searched to find the cure for my crippling anxiety. I desperately wanted freedom from this anxiety which I saw as just something I had, a large part of me. I was unsure it was even possible to gain freedom from it.

“I tried it all. I was slightly overweight as a child; thinking I would feel more confident as a more ‘acceptable’ size, at 11 years old I started the first of a lifetime of diets – this one consisting of literally starving myself for weeks at a time. This led to occasional bingeing which filled me with shame and ensured I felt even worse about myself.

“As I grew older I continued trying to reach my ’ideal’ weight, which got lower and lower as I went on, along with trying alcohol to find my elusive inner confidence.

“Just for the record, insecurity coupled with alcohol makes for total disaster. I found myself full of humiliation and generally feeling worse than ever. Thankfully it has now been 20 years since my last drink as I learned this was not the answer I had desperately been searching for. But I tried other things which were equally harmful to my health including over-the-counter meds.”

Cut to when Jacqui was 36. She had a near death experience in the form of a perforated ulcer. Her duodenum ripped open, spilling its contents, including blood and burning stomach acid, into her abdominal cavity.

“I still remember the stark shock and feelings of doom that that ripping sensation brought with it. My abdomen grew in size over the space of half an hour so I looked seven months pregnant. And the agony – I will never forget the agony.

“I remember ‘walking’ like a zombie downstairs to my husband. I knew I was in serious trouble – that the chances were, I wouldn’t get out of this alive.

“It was then I handed the situation over to God – I said I can’t deal with this, I have done it this time, please let me live. And with that I felt myself let go – the burden was no longer mine and I felt safe.

“My husband leapt to my rescue as soon as he saw the shape I was in, calling an ambulance while I lay on the floor coming in and out of consciousness, vaguely hearing the sweet voice of my three-year-old daughter Charlotte: “Are you okay mummy? Are you sick?”

I couldn’t answer her – I was hanging on for dear life.”

This was the beginning of Jacqui’s spiritual journey that took in exploration of every holistic principle she could find.

She found that a plant-based diet did more than make her body strong; it also made her mentally strong, especially when coupled with daily exercise. Meditation was also a life saver, by enabling her to reduce stress and explore awareness – she now recommends that everyone develops a consistent meditation practice.

Also life-changing for her was the philosophy behind ‘A Course In Miracles’. Jacqui believes this is one of the most spiritually profound and user-friendly ways to transform your life from one of stress to one of inner joy and peace.

“Isn’t that what we are all ultimately looking for?” she says. “It brought me peace at last and its commonsense psychological principles can be used by the least spiritual person and still deliver results.

“These days I am not just living but thriving and my days of crippling anxiety are a thing of the past. I now see myself as the whole being I truly am. So, if you suffer from the affliction of severe anxiety, self-doubt, even panic attacks – there is hope. All it takes is a holistic approach and a little guidance.

“It is now my privilege to share what I have learned. I am a Certified Holistic Life Coach at my business Healing Place, so that my pain can be someone else’s gain. You don’t need to suffer the way I did, or if you are currently suffering, contact me. Together let’s put an end to the life you are currently living, and discover just how wonderful life can be.”

 

Do you suffer from anxiety or depression?

Do you need help but don’t know where to turn?

Jacqui Penny is a Certified Holistic Life Coach trained by renowned American author Alan Cohen. Jacqui’s specialty is overcoming anxiety, self-doubt and getting out of feeling stuck in any situation. She is also experienced in weight loss to feel comfortable in your body.

Jacqui can work with you at Healing Place on the Shore, or at Beyond the Veil in Mt Eden if you work in the city.

Jacqueline Penny, Healing Place, www.healingplace.co.nz, or email me at healingplacenz@gmail.com